Healing

Being in Colorado, the Lord has taught me so many things.
First, I can be strong on my own, and God is what makes that possible. When I was leaving for Colorado I felt like I was running away; running away from the mess I had for myself at home. When I have a problem in my life I simply run and hide from it. It's one of my many faults. I hate confrontation, and I seem to think that ignoring the problem is the best solution (makes sense right?).
Needless to say, it was breaking me and I was trying so hard not to run away. Yet, I had committed myself to the Y in Colorado so this time I was forced to "run away." Being here in Colorado is such a blessing. To be surrounded by God's beautiful creation is the best kind of therapy that there is. I have met so many people that the Lord has used to heal me. God has given me some pretty amazing roommates, an amazing ACMNP team, and wonderful friends/co-workers. 
I have always believed that it's extremely important to be a strong individual, know who you are, and know where you are in your walk with the Lord before you can even begin to go into a relationship with someone else. If you're anywhere on "the border" then you will fall so quickly. Being a strong individual is important even if you aren't going into a relationship; it's the same way for friendships. God has definitely been making me stronger.
Second, God's teaching me to love myself. We were created in His image. We are all different, unique, and so so special to the Lord. Who are we to not love ourselves? God loves each and every one of us so much, and that alone should fill us with joy. So I'm not a professional hiker and I may not be a runway model, but the Lord made me special, and He loves EVERY part of me. Everyone is beautiful on the inside and out! Just knowing that God loves every part of me, even my double-jointed pinkies and my weak ankle, makes me ecstatic. (:
Lastly, Carpe Diem. Yes that's cliche but I'm serious. I always consider the pros and cons of something before I will ever consider doing it. I have learned that I only live once and I need to live a little. Life is fragile and every day is a gift; I'm not going to let it go to waste. My version of "living a little" may not seem like much to someone else, but taking risks is a part of life. I used to think that chasing my dream was pointless, because life isn't perfect and we don't always get what we want. But honestly, sometimes chasing our dreams is the only thing that keeps us going.
I am SO blessed and I will never take that for granted again. I will be strong, love myself, and live my life to the fullest!

Is it justice? Or is it grace?

There was once an evil man. He was an insurrectionist, a rebel, a murderer, and a notorious prisoner. This day, however, he would face justice. He had committed crimes worthy of death, and now he was going to be a victim of crucifixion—one of the most vicious forms of capital punishment known to mankind. Death on a cross was only for the worst of criminals.

Partly due to the cold night, yet mostly due to inexpressible fear, Barabbas shivered uncontrollably as he lay face down in his prison cell. He was in utter despair. No hope. No defense. No answers.

In the distance he could hear people shouting; chanting, even. He thought he heard his own name mixed in with the barrage of yells and screams. But there was one name he heard without mistake: “Jesus”.

Barabbas had heard of this man, although some even called Him the Son of God. Supposedly, this Jesus was a worker of miracles, and He even claimed to be God in the flesh. One of Barabbas’ old followers had joined this “Christ” group a couple years back.

But he had known Jesus and His followers to be rather peaceful. Why would there be such violent shouting now? As a painful reminder of his own impending doom, he could vaguely hear the crowd shouting, “Crucify Him! Crucify Him!”

Still gripped with trepidation and terror, Barabbas heard something that made his stomach twist and his heart stop: shaking keys – the sound of justice. The very next moment, his cell door was swung open and the soldier yelled at him to leave immediately.

But Barabbas couldn’t move.

“Come on, you criminal, get out of here. You’re free.” But his own guilt wouldn’t allow him to believe it. “They’re going to kill Jesus of Nazareth in your place.”

With a thousand questions racing through his mind, Barabbas quickly lifted himself to his feet and hastily walked out of the prison and into the streets of Jerusalem.

A guilty man set free on account of another. Is that justice?

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The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a scandalous message.
It’s a shocking revelation.
It’s a prophetic declaration.
It’s a transforming proclamation.
It’s a soul-saving truth and it is the power of God for all who believe.

The Gospel is a message about God:
The Creator and Sustainer of the universe. He is perfect in all His attributes, blameless in all His ways, righteous in all His judgments. He is all powerful and all knowing. He is strong, mighty, holy, just, wrathful, vengeful, and jealous. He is caring, patient, compassionate, merciful, gracious, loving, and forgiving. God is good.

The Gospel is a message about Man:
Created in God’s image—created good: yet fallen, disobedient, rebellious, corrupt, proud, wicked, evil, sinful, unholy, unrighteous, ungodly, guilty, helpless, hopeless, lost, condemned, separate from God and destined for eternal punishment in the torments of hell.

The Gospel is a message about Jesus Christ:
The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. The anointed one of God who saves. Born of a virgin; killed on a cross; resurrected on the third day. Beloved by the Father, yet smitten by Him for our transgressions. Perfectly innocent, yet punished by God for our wickedness.

Jesus Christ is the only way to forgiveness. The only way to reconciliation, restoration, and redemption. The only way to eternal hope and true meaning and real purpose. The only way to lasting joy and enduring happiness and endless pleasure. The only way to salvation. The only way to heaven. The only way to God’s grace.

The Gospel is a message about you:
§ What will you do? What will you do?
§ Will you examine your wicked heart? or will you persist in blissful ignorance?
§ Will you open your mind to the truth of God? or will you disregard your guilty conscience?
§ Will you surrender your life and your plans and your future and your hopes and your dreams and your desires and your thoughts and your actions and your words – all to the Lordship of Christ? Or will you continue to deny His total call/claim upon your life?
§ Will you trust Jesus or will you reject His love?
§ Will you repent of sin? or will you proceed in vain self-righteousness?
§ Will you be set free or will you live in the bondage of evil?
§ Will you receive grace or will you face justice?
§ What will you do?
§ What will you do?

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A guilty man set free on account of another. Is that justice?

No. That’s grace.

***I do not take credit for this. It's taken from "Barabbas" by Caleb and Sol***

Are we too busy?

We can’t become too busy for God. We just can’t. 

The second we become too busy for Him is the second we lose ourselves. Who we are, our being, our self-worth, rests in Him. Once we lose sight of that, we might as well just stop. Life without Him is rough and quite frankly, pointless. We can’t forget that. Life gets busy, I get that and i fully am living that right now. Balancing work, my friends, my family, my sorority, and my job is hell. It is one of the hardest things to do; knowing who should be first on your “spend time with” list and prioritizing whether or not to study for greek mythology or to go out…but honestly when life gets rough and life gets busy we need to remember why we are here. And more importantly who put us here. God put us here and He loves us so much. It’s cliché to say that, but it is so true. He was crucified to set us free, and we can’t even find a moment to talk to Him throughout the day. Not in any way that we should feel obligated, as if we owe Him, but we come to Him because we’re grateful and amazed and in awe of His holy being. To think of everything He has done for us, and all of the little individual blessings He puts in EVERYBODY’S life, it simply amazes me. That right there is 100%, real, unconditional, never-ending love. Think about it, all of those little things throughout the day that make you smile, or that make your day suck less…yeah, God knew that and He put it there. 

So much of the time we simply give credit of those little things to chance. Chance did not put that there, God did. He knows us so well! He knows what makes us laugh and what makes us cry. He knows even the smallest thing and the simplest of thoughts that we’re thinking. When you think about it, it’s romantic. He goes out of the way to see us smile. He does little things throughout our day to make us happy. Some people may think they have a terrible life; they have no money, have to work what seems like 24/7 to make ends meet and even then it’s not enough. And I know through the hard times it seems impossible to see God or feel Him near or even sense that He cares. But i tell you, HE DOES. Don’t ever give up, don’t ever lose sight of Him, because He is there for us 24/7, 365 days per year. Having a relationship with God, just like any other relationship, is not a one-way street. Both sides have to work at it. He does all of these things for us, and in return we need to yearn for Him and grow closer to Him and make the effort. We cannot expect our relationship with Christ to simply just happen and be perfect. God gets it, we are NOT perfect. In fact we aren’t even close. We mess up, we go down the ‘wrong path,’ we say things we shouldn’t, think things we shouldn’t, look at things we shouldn’t, etc. But God gets it! 

That’s the great thing of God is that He gets us! He knows that we will be tempted and that we will give in, but He still loves us. In all of our failures and all of our mistakes and every single one of our dark moments, He loves us. It’s as simple as that. He will never stop loving us and He will never stop wanting us. So when you’re alone, in that dark moment, remember this: you are not alone. No matter how depressed or angry you are, He is there waiting patiently for you to come to Him. With all this said, Christ’s love and mercy that is given to us, yes given. Just because He gives us this love and mercy does not mean that we can just go around doing wrong things and then come and ask forgiveness only to repeat the cycle. His mercy is not a loophole, it’s a way out. A way out of the sinful life that we live, the sinful life that is so tempting and beautiful, but it’s deceiving! 

Living with Christ as the center of your life is the only way life will ever make sense. And that’s just how it is.

Let It Rain

"The Lord reigns, let the Earth be glad. 

Let the distant shores rejoice; clouds and thick darkness surround Him.

Righteousness and justice are the foundations of His throne.

Fire goes before Him and consumes His foes on every side.

His lightning lights up the world. The Earth sees and trembles, the mountains melt like wax before the Lord.

Before the Lord of all the Earth, the heavens proclaim His righteousness, and all people will see His glory!"

**I cannot take credit for such a powerful and amazing passage. It comes from the song "Let It Rain" by Michael W. Smith. In the middle of his song, it gets quiet and a man begins speaking this. He speaks it with such passion and excitement that you cannot help but fall to your knees to worship the Lord.

Grief is...

Grief

Grief is something that never leaves you.

It’s that reoccurring thought that you have at night.

It’s the nightmare that you relive, over and over again.

It’s that feeling in your heart that words can’t describe.

Grief is deceitful and intimidating.

It’s more powerful than anything you can imagine.

It surrounds you like raindrops in a storm.

It is always with you, like a breeze on a windy day.

Grief encompasses your mind.

It changes your thoughts.

It transforms who you are.

It eliminates beauty in places you never realize.

Grief is the strongest weapon.

It attacks your mind.

It destroys your heart.

It diminishes your hope.

Grief is standing on that hill and looking over the destruction.

It’s realizing that nothing will ever be the same.

It’s sitting alone crying at night, yearning for things to be normal.

It’s trying to hide the pain, when in reality it’s more obvious than blood on a white shirt.

Grief is lying in bed, staring at the ceiling wondering why.

It’s smothering your face with the pillow, trying to muffle your sobs.

It’s sitting with you head between your knees, shaking, trying to breathe.

It’s kneeling on the ground, crying out to God and trying not to be angry with him.

Grief is sitting by the tombstone.

It’s feeling the dew of the grass on your knees.

It’s staring at the grave, realizing that they are really gone.

It’s feeling the coldness of the tombstone and feeling that same coldness in your heart.

Grief is deciding whether it’s better to remember, or erase the memories.

It’s flipping through old pictures.

It’s gripping your heart, as your life flashes before you in your mind.

It’s remembering all of the jokes with your best friend.

Grief doesn’t even have to be a physical death.

It’s someone losing a job.

It’s someone losing a friend.

It’s having a major part of you taken away… forever.

Grief can be subdued, but it will never be eliminated.

It’s waking up in the morning and trying to muster up the willpower to move.

It’s being motivated for your family.

It’s making the decision whether it’s easier to live or not.

Grief only wins if you give up.

It’s struggling everyday to continue on.

It’s being looked at differently by people.

It’s learning to deal with the new life that has been handed to you.

Grief changes…everything.